The good news train had to stop eventually, I suppose. Not that I don’t constantly keep my eye out for things to kindle my guttering faith in humanity, but all too often, it seems all it takes is one bat shit crazy dingus with a lick of authority to piss on the party. Continue reading
Archive for wtf
That’s what it must be if they’re going to give us stuff like this!
From the Huffington Post (and now spread all over the place like tertiary syphilis) comes a bombshell of “what the fuck were you thinking?!” so lovely that any leftist, Democrat, or progressive must be going into anal prolapse with joy.
Oh yes, the illustrious chairman of the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele, has some awkward questions to answer about how he’s spending his group’s money. And sure, you’ve got the normal corruption. Private jets. Lavish hotels.
How about BDSM themed clubs where naked folks simulate fuckin’ and beatin’ each other?
Original props for the scoop goes to The Daily Caller, though why they buried the sexy times in the middle of the article instead of leading with it is beyond me.
That’s a bald faced lie. And because I paid 3,000 bucks for laser hair removal on my face, give this lie full credit.
But boy howdy, this picture sure would look like evidence if I wasn’t good enough to tell you the story eh?
Look, I know it’s cheating, taking from the brilliant and wonderful Jessica O’Reilly over at Carnalnation.com, but when I’m struck dumb by something, that’s an event.
There is no way to embellish this story beyond how fundamentally WTF it already is, so let me put my objective reporter’s hat on and just say:
You can now buy specially designed anus coverings for your pet.
Because that’ll definitely make people feel more comfortable at the dog park. It isn’t creepy at all. Everyone will just be dying to shake your hand (after applying a backdoor pasty to Rover’s browneye) and thank you for your civic minded step towards animal decency.
Fuck’s sake people, WE were the dumbasses who ate the apple of knowledge and realized “Shit! We have no clothes! We don’t know what they are, but they’re REAL important and we’d better jam some fig leaves up our cracks to cover up!”
Animals didn’t make that grave mythological error. I reckon misery loves company.
I know, I know, it’s just too damn easy to steal from the good folks at Carnal Nation, but forgive my laziness and ensuing linkfest. This was just too good to pass up.
One of my favorite arguments against the LGBTQ haters out there has always been the, “Whaddaya mean it’s a ‘choice’, asshat? I CHOSE to have a huge portion of the world hate me enough to do things like this to my soft, pink places?”
… to be fair, that actually looks pretty fun. Especially if I get to keep the lad. I will name him Reginald and put him in charge of pedicures and interrogations in my Tuscan villa.
But to return to the main topic (and the first link, which would’ve given you the story much faster than little ol’ me), it’s true, there’s no more important proof.
Gays everywhere, you are now on notice. We in the LGBTQ alphabet soup of identity are now no longer struggling for acceptance; We must now struggle against a new foe: Mediocre, mundane, malefactors who manhandle us into mainstream maladjustment. In short, we’re so normal we’re boring. This story is Exhibit A.
IKEA actually paid people to “act gay” on a Mardi Gras float. That’s right. As though there weren’t enough gay muscle boys in Australia, a country/continent that’s gotta be something like 20% EXOTIC BEACH. No. Not enough real gays.
So I guess we better stop complaining about being a marginal “other” if it’s now possible for us to get paid for it. However… then again… one might also say we’re being further abused by heteronormativity because our “queerness” is now being outsourced!
If you feel as outraged (by outraged I mean laughing my kidneys into a pulp) as I do, get to know this guy and read what it’s like to have your “authenticity” stolen faster than a hollywood film playing in Beijing.
This is NERSFW (Not even remotely safe for work…) but well worth watching.
Kaitlin says it’s “Cinema Gold!!!!”
It has come to our attention that there is a rapidly growing facebook group called “Killing your hooker so you don’t have to pay her,” made up of over 16,000 individuals who I can only assume find the idea of dead sex workers hilarious.
Here at SiP we love sex workers, and we think this joke of a group is wrong, unfunny, and downright cheap. So we urge those of you with a facebook account (or hell, just create one) to report this group for being threatening and abusive- just go to the link above and you will find a tiny “Report Page” button on the lower left side.
Side fail: Quote from the group page: “Ever stab your hooker with a blunt object to add insult to injury”… stabbing with a blunt object? Come on…
In other Unicorn news, Pack of Others, a theater company based in Brooklyn, NY (of course), is putting on a provocative show next month called Peg-Ass-Us (view the trailer!)… ok fine, there will be no unicorns on stage or in attendance, but there will presumably be a dildo strapped to someone’s head at some point. The show is all about pegging… for the uninitiated, “pegging” is a term coined by readers of Savage Love for a certain sex act that you can read all about here. Enjoy!
It’s cheaper than a ring, and you can even fax it straight to Jesus himself! That’s right, all virgins must hurry to Certified Virgin and register the purity of their sacred genitalia. You can even certify your friends! I’m sure they will be thrilled to hear you care so much about their nonexistant sex lives…
I must admit, though, that I expected a more stringent certification process. No inspection, no lie detector test… hell, anyone with a dollar can be a virgin these days. But hey, at least part of the proceeds (the website neglects to say how much exactly… hmm) will be going to AIDS research. Because if there’s any group that has been hit hardest by AIDS, it’s virgins.
My favorite part of this website is that it keeps track of how many “virgins” register- 180 so far! But I do wish it would provide up to date information about their wherabouts… so many cherries, so little time
A man sitting on death row right now might be saved by the bizarre gift given by his jurors to the judge – a nice big chocolate cock. WTF?!
(From Carnal Nation) “No one can say why the jurors sent the gift to the judge, nor why they sent chocolate breasts to the bailiff while they deliberated the fate of an alleged statuatory rapist and murderer.” Read more
In other recent food play developments, some guy has been arrested for chicken licking, among other things
Bad news for people who like to spend their mornings at home making coffee while naked, especially if you live in Virginia.
Eric Williamson has now been convicted of indecent exposure, all because he was seen naked through a window by a woman who passed by his house.
He was not fined and faces no immediate jail time. But come on, if this is what passes for indecent exposure, we’re all criminals. Read more
HT: Jonathan Turley