Archive for wtf

Stuck Between A Rock and an Asshole

Posted in Legal, News, Politics and Sex, Sex Ed with tags , , , , on April 10, 2010 by paigetsindfw

The good news train had to stop eventually, I suppose. Not that I don’t constantly keep my eye out for things to kindle my guttering faith in humanity, but all too often, it seems all it takes is one bat shit crazy dingus with a lick of authority to piss on the party.  Continue reading

Fucking Christmas

Posted in Crazy/Funny, News, Politics and Sex, You Fucked Up! with tags , , , on March 29, 2010 by paigetsindfw

That’s what it must be if they’re going to give us stuff like this!

From the Huffington Post (and now spread all over the place like tertiary syphilis) comes a bombshell of “what the fuck were you thinking?!” so lovely that any leftist, Democrat, or progressive must be going into anal prolapse with joy.

This WILL be made into parody porn, we all know that right? When they hold auditions, I hope to the Great Pumpkin or whoever's listening that I can at least score a background role.

Oh yes, the illustrious chairman of the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele, has some awkward questions to answer about how he’s spending his group’s money. And sure, you’ve got the normal corruption. Private jets. Lavish hotels.

How about BDSM themed clubs where naked folks simulate fuckin’ and beatin’ each other?

Original props for the scoop goes to The Daily Caller, though why they buried the sexy times in the middle of the article instead of leading with it is beyond me.

Puppies Shit Flowers

Posted in Crazy/Funny, Photo Phun, Shopping with tags on March 16, 2010 by paigetsindfw

That’s a bald faced lie. And because I paid 3,000 bucks for laser hair removal on my face, give this lie full credit.

But boy howdy, this picture sure would look like evidence if I wasn’t good enough to tell you the story eh?

I don't have the words...

Look, I know it’s cheating, taking from the brilliant and wonderful Jessica O’Reilly over at Carnalnation.com, but when I’m struck dumb by something, that’s an event.

There is no way to embellish this story beyond how fundamentally WTF it already is, so let me put my objective reporter’s hat on and just say:

You can now buy specially designed anus coverings for your pet.

Because that’ll definitely make people feel more comfortable at the dog park. It isn’t creepy at all. Everyone will just be dying to shake your hand (after applying a backdoor pasty to Rover’s browneye) and thank you for your civic minded step towards animal decency.

Fuck’s sake people, WE were the dumbasses who ate the apple of knowledge and realized “Shit! We have no clothes! We don’t know what they are, but they’re REAL important and we’d better jam some fig leaves up our cracks to cover up!”

Animals didn’t make that grave mythological error. I reckon misery loves company.

Lie to Me

Posted in Crazy/Funny with tags , , , , , on February 23, 2010 by paigetsindfw

I know, I know, it’s just too damn easy to steal from the good folks at Carnal Nation, but forgive my laziness and ensuing linkfest. This was just too good to pass up.

One of my favorite arguments against the LGBTQ haters out there has always been the, “Whaddaya mean it’s a ‘choice’, asshat? I CHOSE to have a huge portion of the world hate me enough to do things like this to my soft, pink places?”

… to be fair, that actually looks pretty fun. Especially if I get to keep the lad. I will name him Reginald and put him in charge of pedicures and interrogations in my Tuscan villa.

I shit you not, my singing instructor told me she goes to Ikea a a couple times a week to get a workout. She timed it to a full hour walk. That's rifuckulous.

But to return to the main topic (and the first link, which would’ve given you the story much faster than little ol’ me), it’s true, there’s no more important proof.

Gays everywhere, you are now on notice. We in the LGBTQ alphabet soup of identity are now no longer struggling for acceptance; We must now struggle against a new foe: Mediocre, mundane, malefactors who manhandle  us into mainstream maladjustment. In short, we’re so normal we’re boring. This story is Exhibit A.

IKEA actually paid people to “act gay” on a Mardi Gras float. That’s right. As though there weren’t enough gay muscle boys in Australia, a country/continent that’s gotta be something like 20% EXOTIC BEACH. No. Not enough real gays.

So I guess we better stop complaining about being a marginal “other” if it’s now possible for us to get paid for it. However… then again… one might also say we’re being further abused by heteronormativity because our “queerness” is now being outsourced!

If you feel as outraged (by outraged I mean laughing my kidneys into a pulp) as I do, get to know this guy and read what it’s like to have your “authenticity” stolen faster than a hollywood film playing in Beijing.

Nuts in the butt…

Posted in BDSM, Crazy/Funny, porn, Videos with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2010 by girlonpiano

This is NERSFW (Not even remotely safe for work…) but well worth watching.

“Your ass won’t even let my nuts out!”

Kaitlin says it’s “Cinema Gold!!!!”

Facebook Fail: “Killing your hooker so you don’t have to pay her”

Posted in Stuff to do, You Fucked Up! with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2010 by Chase

It has come to our attention that there is a rapidly growing facebook group called “Killing your hooker so you don’t have to pay her,” made up of over 16,000 individuals who I can only assume find the idea of dead sex workers hilarious.

Here at SiP we love sex workers, and we think this joke of a group is wrong, unfunny, and downright cheap. So we urge those of you with a facebook account (or hell, just create one) to report this group for being threatening and abusive- just go to the link above and you will find a tiny “Report Page” button on the lower left side.

Side fail: Quote from the group page: “Ever stab your hooker with a blunt object to add insult to injury”… stabbing with a blunt object? Come on…

Fun with Google: “unicorn humping”

Posted in Crazy/Funny with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 29, 2010 by Chase

In other Unicorn news, Pack of Others, a theater company based in Brooklyn, NY (of course), is putting on a provocative show next month called Peg-Ass-Us (view the trailer!)… ok fine, there will be no unicorns on stage or in attendance, but there will presumably be a dildo strapped to someone’s head at some point. The show is all about pegging… for the uninitiated, “pegging” is a term coined by readers of Savage Love for a certain sex act that you can read all about here. Enjoy!

So you’re a virgin, huh? Prove it!

Posted in Crazy/Funny, Stuff to do with tags , , , , , , , , on January 28, 2010 by Chase

 

Look how super siked we are to be certifiably pure!

 

It’s cheaper than a ring, and you can even fax it straight to Jesus himself! That’s right, all virgins must hurry to Certified Virgin and register the purity of their sacred genitalia. You can even certify your friends! I’m sure they will be thrilled to hear you care so much about their nonexistant sex lives…

I must admit, though, that I expected a more stringent certification process. No inspection, no lie detector test… hell, anyone with a dollar can be a virgin these days. But hey, at least part of the proceeds (the website neglects to say how much exactly… hmm) will be going to AIDS research. Because if there’s any group that has been hit hardest by AIDS, it’s virgins.

My favorite part of this website is that it keeps track of how many “virgins” register- 180 so far! But I do wish it would provide up to date information about their wherabouts… so many cherries, so little time

HT: Slog

A Death by Chocolate Twist

Posted in Crazy/Funny, Legal, News, You Fucked Up! with tags , , , , , , , , on January 21, 2010 by Chase

A man sitting on death row right now might be saved by the bizarre gift given by his jurors to the judge - a nice big chocolate cock. WTF?!

(From Carnal Nation) “No one can say why the jurors sent the gift to the judge, nor why they sent chocolate breasts to the bailiff while they deliberated the fate of an alleged statuatory rapist and murderer.” Read more

In other recent food play developments, some guy has been arrested for chicken licking, among other things

Naked Coffee Morning Update

Posted in Legal, News with tags , , , , , on December 19, 2009 by Chase

Bad news for people who like to spend their mornings at home making coffee while naked, especially if you live in Virginia.

Eric Williamson has now been convicted of indecent exposure, all because he was seen naked through a window by a woman who passed by his house.

He was not fined and faces no immediate jail time. But come on, if this is what passes for indecent exposure, we’re all criminals. Read more

HT: Jonathan Turley

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